Wanna get off this rollercoaster ride

When everything is spiriling downward I fall down a hole of self doubt, im falling, screaming for help, unsure of where I will land. much like alice falling down the rabbit hole. i want to convince myself that ill land on my feet at the bottom and that eventually Ill find my way back up but I have always been a horrible liar. so now I sit. Completely alone and insecure. If demons exist, I have many of them im facing. where is the light at the end of this tunnel? I have so much running through my head that I just want out, but i cant bring myself to say any of it aloud. Or to admit defeat. when you show others you are vulnerable, they have the ability to hurt you.